J

J

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Joel's 25 year old stats

Some of you have complained that I need to keep a more regular blog. Well, unlike many of you, I don't have children I can talk about. But, I decided that since I have a boyfriend I can tell you about him and some of the cute things he does or has done.

Sometimes I feel like his mom right now because I do a lot of motherly things like reminding him to eat, fixing him food, making sure he looks presentable when we go to wedding receptions or other events, picking him up from school and generally giving him rides. (His car is broken down right now.) Like yesterday I picked him up from school and he was just standing in the rain soaking wet and looking all pathetic and sad. I asked him why he didn't stand under something while he was waiting for me, and he said “I just forgot.” I asked him why he was sad and he said “I don't know,” so I asked if it was because he was wet, and he said “Kinda,” then he started crying and said his shoes came untied. It was so cute. I just reminded him he knows how to tie his shoes, and he said he knew but now the laces were all wet. Joel hates touching anything wet or gooey. He won't touch anything like glue and doesn't like caramel or gum because of their texture.

He is becoming a lot more independent since I started dating him. When we went with Kelsey and Boyd on Memorial Day up the canyon he made and packed his own lunch, complete with a tuna fish sandwich, crackers and a tupperware container FULL of applesauce. He didn't bring his own lunch sack though so it got over all my lunch on the ride, but I was proud of him for making his own lunch anyway, and he was really excited about it too. Since I'm trying to let him make more of his own decisions, I told him he could pick what he wore to he and his roommate's club (they have a discussion and dance night every other Wednesday). When he came out of his room he peeked around the corner and asked if he could borrow some of my tights. I told him to show me what he was wearing. He was in one of those shirts tied up with a lace at the neck and in really short shorts tied around his thighs to look like knickers —so he looked like a Shakespearean-era guy. (Just so you know, normal dress code is a slacks and a blazer. In fact they made him wear a blazer.) He looked so ridiculous but it was cute especially with his skinny little legs.

While he usually speaks quite well, sometimes he gets confused about words. For instance whenever he wants us to do something even marginally exciting, he says “Let's throw cosh into the wind.” The saying is actually, “Let's throw caution to the wind,” and it sounds the same. I didn't realize he didn't know what he was saying until he asked me one day, “What is cosh anyway?” Also when I take him to McDonald's he always orders “french flies.” I told him it was fries but he insisted it was flies because of how far you can throw them and he started throwing them all over the restaurant. We left promptly and I told him we're not going back to McDonald's for awhile until he learns how to behave in a restaurant. He whined a lot but by the time we got back to my apartment he forgot all about it. Boys.

He loves coming to the apartment because I have a lot of records and he loves listening to them—especially his favorite, “Tomorrow” from the soundtrack to “Annie” which he listens to over and over again. It's annoying, but it comes in handy when I'm trying to get something done. He really likes moving the record needle, and when he's not dancing around in circles to the song he loves watching the record go around. A couple days ago I came out from cleaning my room and he was still watching it, and then he told me he felt sick. When “Tomorrow” doesn't work I can bribe him with juice, or Powerade, which he calls “medicine.”

The other record I've got him listening to is the “Fiddler on the Roof” soundtrack because I told him it was about Jews. Joel loves Jews even though he doesn't know very much about them. His favorite song is “If I were a rich man.” It was so funny when I came in the other day and he had a bowl on his head. I didn't know what it was supposed to be until I looked on the cover for the record and it is a picture of a bunch of men in yarmulkes.

Joel loves having his back scratched and even more than that he loves having his head scratched, and he thinks it makes him smarter. Also, he loves to eat the smarties that Macey's gives out for free at the checkout because he thinks they make you smarter too. When I asked him how they would make him smarter, he just said “Smarter the Farter” and started laughing and couldn't stop laughing for five minutes. I think that proves his theory wrong. Laughing hysterically is something Joel does a lot—usually at his own jokes, which usually don't make any sense. The other day he asked me if I wanted to hear a joke and I always say yes. So, he said, “How did the chicken cross the road?” I said, how? He said because “Michael Jordan stood on George Washington's car,” and then laughed hysterically for five minutes. I've learned not to repeat his jokes to him because he thinks they're funnier when I say them. I reminded him of “Smarter the Farter” the other day and he started laughing and saying it over and over again until I made him take a nap.

Finally, he's been going to the potty by himself for 13 years in a row!

Pictures to come.

9 comments:

Kelsey said...

Jamie, what are you getting yourself into? I thought we had a pretty good sense of him, but I guess I was wrong...You forgot to include the part about when his little brother was born he hit him and he turned into a dot.

Maren B said...

Jamie, you're certifiably hilarious. I only hope all of this is true.

Ruth McKimson said...

Jamie. What on earth.

Keri said...

Oh, that Joel. He's such a poor sweet baby. I can't wait for his next birthday party - what do you think he would like? Oh! You forgot to mention his percentile for height and weight. I do have to wonder if this was also a joint effort :)

Jamie's Blog said...

Oh yeah I forgot that. Joel is in the 15th percentile for weight and 74th for height. He's doing great!

Jared said...

I feel like he's growing up so...so quickly *sniffle*. Cherish these moments, for they'll be gone all to soon. groflolgupuph.

ktb said...

hahahaha. this was hilarious! you know you'll make a good mom, right??

Ruth McKimson said...

So, if my math is correct . . . and dear Joel has been going to the potty all by himself for 13 years now, lets see . . . that means he was about 12 when he was finally potty trained. Good job, Joel!!

Jessica said...

James,
I didn't know you had a blog!! And this post just made me laugh out loud at work. People are looking at me funny...