I feel in my life that I like to read books.
If I ate a whale would you give me $4?
Ivy is a woman baby.
Oskar: Ivy's giving me the creep.
Jamie: What's the creep?
Oskar: It's when you're holding someone and they push you down.
Oskar: I don't like dark sides from star wars and the dark side guy.
Jamie: Who? Darth Maul?
Jamie: Darth Sidious?
Jamie: Emperor Palpatine?
Oskar: Yes! Is Emperor Palpatine a mean guy?
Oskar: I have a feeling for you.
Jamie: What's your feeling?
Oskar: I know that I love you.
I took out my tuba and began to play music.
You're a rough girl, Ivy. I love your skin though.
Jamie: Oskar, you better not lose any of those cards.
Oskar: Have no fear, i'm not going to do it.
"Dad always says, 'We should look at the box score,' and I don't know why we should look at the box score ... look at all the players and who got a hit.”
That's not the right observation!
Oskar is in the tub and i reminded him not to poop while taking a bath. he said, "Why? Because Daddy will need to clean the tub? With baking soda?”
Oskar was just doing something and I told him to stop and he said, "Sorry, that makes me nuts!
That makes me eat nuts."
Oskar: Tell Dad what I did today I sucked up the poop and sucked it back out.
Jamie: What are you talking about?
Oskar: I beautified it.
Oskar: I’m feeling pretty woozy.
Jamie: What does that mean?
Oskar: It means I’m hungry.
Jamie: What do you want to eat?
Oskar: Toast with a great deal of butter.
Now can you sing me someone else’s courage?
Sometimes I realize that my pants and underwear sink into my bottom.
Art Garfunkel is an idiot.
Why is there a squishy floor on my tongue?
All the things in the wonderful world that Grandma found are so pretty. Can you say that, Ivy?
Jamie: Stop Oskar or I’m going to lose my mind!
Oskar: Then I’m going to put my mind into your head!!
Grandma has awoken!
Sometimes when I’m asleep I smell like pasta bites.