Oskar's Latest

I feel in my life that I like to read books.

If I ate a whale would you give me $4?

Ivy is a woman baby.

Oskar:  Ivy's giving me the creep.

Jamie:  What's the creep?

Oskar:  It's when you're holding someone and they push you down.

Oskar:  I don't like dark sides from star wars and the dark side guy.

Jamie:  Who?  Darth Maul?

Oskar:  No.

Jamie:  Darth Sidious?

Oskar:  No!

Jamie:  Emperor Palpatine?

Oskar:  Yes!  Is Emperor Palpatine a mean guy?

Oskar:  I have a feeling for you.

Jamie:  What's your feeling?

Oskar:  I know that I love you.

I took out my tuba and began to play music.

You're a rough girl, Ivy.  I love your skin though.

Jamie:  Oskar, you better not lose any of those cards. 

Oskar:  Have no fear, i'm not going to do it.

"Dad always says, 'We should look at the box score,' and I don't know why we should look at the box score ... look at all the players and who got a hit.”

That's not the right observation!

Oskar is in the tub and i reminded him not to poop while taking a bath. he said, "Why? Because Daddy will need to clean the tub? With baking soda?”

Oskar was just doing something and I told him to stop and he said, "Sorry, that makes me nuts!

That makes me eat nuts."

Oskar:  Tell Dad what I did today  I sucked up the poop and sucked it back out.

Jamie:  What are you talking about?

Oskar:  I beautified it.

Oskar:  I’m feeling pretty woozy.

Jamie:  What does that mean?

Oskar:  It means I’m hungry.

Jamie:  What do you want to eat?

Oskar:  Toast with a great deal of butter.

Now can you sing me someone else’s courage?

Sometimes I realize that my pants and underwear sink into my bottom.

Art Garfunkel is an idiot.

Why is there a squishy floor on my tongue?

All the things in the wonderful world that Grandma found are so pretty.  Can you say that, Ivy?

Jamie:  Stop Oskar or I’m going to lose my mind!

Oskar:  Then I’m going to put my mind into your head!!

Grandma has awoken!

Sometimes when I’m asleep I smell like pasta bites.