8 months old

Oskar is 8 months old today and I really feel like I'm going to lose it.  He's taken a turn for the worst when it comes to eating.  He resists EVERY SINGLE feeding to the point where he is screaming and writhing and jerking his body when I try to give him the bottle.  If he's not half asleep we have to literally pin his arms and legs down to get him to take any of the milk.  And if he does take the milk, at least one feeding a day he throws right back up, usually all over me and this sometimes happens multiple times a day but hardly ever does it not happen at all during the day.  It's driving me absolutely crazy.  I'm half tempted to just let him starve and see how he likes it.  He also won't eat solid food anymore either.  I sit him in his highchair and he won't even put his head up when I bring the spoon to his mouth.  He won't stop playing with his tray and highchair to eat. And if I do manage to bring his head up for a half second to where I can literally shove the food in his tightly sealed mouth, he will spit it out.  I was looking online to see what it said about babies who wouldn't eat and all it had were comments that made me even more mad.  Their babies are 16 or 17 pounds (Oskar is maybe 14) and younger than Oskar and eating more than Oskar and they have no idea what it's like to actually have a baby who doesn't weigh much and won't eat.  I'm very frustrated and I don't know what to do and I wish I had happy positive things to say right now but I'm about to blow my brains out.

Plus we don't have a doctor to go to.