Thursday, February 26, 2009

The man

I am in my fourth year at Brigham Young University. I have taken many classes from many different teachers. To this day my favorite teacher of all time is a man named Professor Fluhman, or BroFlu as me and Jared like to call him, professor of Church History. He is HILARIOUS! I took American Christianity from him a year or so ago with Jared and now I'm taking the first half of D&C and getting a serious kick out of it. I have a compilation of sorts of the things he has said in his classes, some were in other classes and I am including them though I wasn't actually there.

We were having a haggling session about the next midterm, and two girls wanted him to post the study guide around Friday evening so they could start working on it. Professor Fluhman looked at these girls in utter disbelief, asking them to confirm the fact that they were actually planning to start studying for it ON THE WEEKEND. They said they were serious, so he said he would try to get it posted, but that they both had to promise to get some social time in "On Friday and Saturday". They nodded. Fluhman adds: "With boys." (class laughs) girl: "But that's not fair!" Fluhman: "It IS fair and it's the divine plan of an ETERNAL GOD." [aside] "Was that to forceful?"

"I am terrified of mice. If there were a mouse in this room, I would be the first one bolting for the door and I would be pushing women to the side."

"For lunch I had a protein shake, a V8, and a handful of almonds. I am about five seconds away from eating this wall....I hate health."

"quoting" Parley P. Pratt saying Signey Rigdon would be a good convert:
"I got a guy here, Rigdon, I think he's gonna dig what we got"

"is it hotter than blazes in here, or is it my sweater vest?"

someone asked what evangelicals thought we would be doing in heaven:
“kick it, comma, glorify god”

part of the syllabus:
"Other similar activities are egregious violations of class policy and will be answered with a steaming cup of wrath, filled to the brim and overflowing."

“paraphrasing the Lord’s always tricky business”

Concerning discussions with of grace/works with Protestants:
“you give me a Paul and I take your Paul and raise you a Jesus”

Concerning teenagers:
“they know a heck of a lot more about X-Box than ETERNAL TRUTH!”

Talking about when Joseph Smith asked for a vote at an early General Conference to remove Oliver Cowdery from his office and Hyrum offered a counter vote right after:
“you want to throw him back in my face? Great. Thanks Church. [aside] I’m paraphrasing”

Talking about a mother’s cunning ways of getting her children to go to mutual:
“some ecclesiastical chops with that guilt trip”

Don't worry, there will be more to come, the semester is only half over.


Jared said...

I miss nothing about Provo save that man...say what you will, anti-BYU-ites, but until you produce such a mind, only your silence will suffice...and maybe some scraping and cowering, for BroFlu is the man.

Maren B said...

I'm so glad to have this written down for posterity and glory forever and forever amen.